Monday, November 1, 2010

HELP! I Need the Toddler Whisperer!!

Forget unruly dogs! I need help with an unruly toddler!

Oh. My. Goodness. We cannot take my 21 month old anywhere. After being somewhere for ten minutes he throws a fit in some way. He will scream until he A-gets his way (NOT happenin!) or B-We leave. Three times in the last three weeks, we have tried to do something fun as a family. The first was going to a friend's house for a UFC party. He has little friends there to play with, snacks, toys, and free reign of the house. Forty-five minutes into it the screaming and throwing himself on the ground began. He would not stop, and to not ruin other people's time, we left. Second, was a birthday party for his little friend turning two. It was at a restaurant and he had crayons, snacks, drinks, toys, and books. Fifteen minutes into it he started screaming. Ron had to take him and walk him around the parking lot while I got the food that we had already ordered. We then left. Third was Trunk or Treat at church last night. THIS should have been the event he had a BLAST at. He could walk around anywhere he wanted, eat candy, play games, and jump in a jumpy thing. The fun lasted about ten minutes, then he started screaming and throwing himself on the ground. Ron had to take him to play in the church nursery while I finished up with giving away candy. Once they left the nursery, he started screaming again, and we went home early.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?? We have never given him his way with tantrums. He has not figured out that it does nothing for him. Sometimes getting up and leaving is the only option for other people's sanity, but sometimes that's what he wanted! I am at a loss. I am prepared to never go anywhere again. Ever. Last night was awful. And for those of you who have not heard Ryan scream, it is HORRIBLE. It is the loudest thing you have EVER heard. I also apologize to his Sunday School teachers who also get to deal with the same thing on Sunday mornings. He throws fits there as well, and that is very embarrassing to have other people have to deal with my unruly child. I am a firm believer in Dr. James Dobson's philosophy of "Just get them to 18 alive", but this is just SO much more frustrating than that.

Help!!! Please! Suggestions? I will do anything at this point. I am desperate.


  1. Katie, I feel your pain girlfriend. But sometimes, in some way I think Ryan thinks he might be getting his way. Maybe when you are out at a resturant, or at a friends house, he DOESN'T want to be there so he thinks.."HMMM, if I pull a tantrum, we'll get to leave and go where I want to go." (more than likely home). But maybe you should start some kind of reward system for him. He's almost 2 so he just know something good might come out of him being good. Try a sticker chart. Explain to him BEFORE you go out somewhere that IF he's good, he'll get a sticker on his chart. If he does pull a tantrum, remind him of the stickers. Reward him with something he likes after 3, then maybe 4, then 5 until you can just eliminate it all together.

    And also maybe try a parenting class. NO, it's not a terrible thing, doesn't mean you're a horrible mother...not at all. I took a pareting class just for the heck of it...let me tell you, I've learned to be so much more patient and they teach you a lot of things, different techniques for things you would never think of. My course was 12 weeks so it was a little long but well worth it!!

    Hope this helps!! love you guys!

  2. Thanks so much Lauren! I think Ryan is too young for the sticker chart idea. He seems a little behind most kids on the comprehension stuff. (Not to mention he is afraid of stickers HAHA He doesn't like how they stick to him:) ) But that is an AWESOME idea once he is old enough to understand! I have tried giving him "special" snacks when he has been good for a period of time, but that doesn't seem to register with him. He just gets his snack and then throws the fit after.

    And you are so right! A lot of times (like at the restaurant) Ryan just wants to leave! But I am not going to let him just scream at a restaurant, of all places. So what do I do?

    I think this would not be so frustrating if Ryan was a little farther along developmentally. He is VERY behind in his speech. He still only says about ten words. He does not understand a lot of commands or things we say. I just don't know how to reason with him or give him choices when he does not understand me. We even have "school" every day where we do numbers and colors and word flash cards. He still is not speaking or even attempting to speak other than VERY few words.